The Divided House

Family Update

2008-10-01T23:01:00.000-07:00

Since we haven't posted in a while I thought I would give an update on our family and what is happening here in beautiful Portland. I wish I could report that something exciting has happened in the last couple of months but I can't. Each day is different and busy at our house, though!

The boys are doing well. Zachary, our oldest, started 2nd grade. He doesn't have very far to go to get to school...just to our dining room table. We have homeschooled Zachary since kindergarten. Math and science are his favorite subjects. He does well in school. He started Cub Scouts last week and is excited to start working toward his Wolf Cub rank. He started Scouts in Texas and had a great time. He (and Daddy) are looking forward to their monthly meetings and learning and doing new things.

Ryan started homeschooling this fall and he also attends a part-time kindergarten at our church. He is doing well in both. He turned 6 last week and is chomping at the bit to start Scouts. Unfortunately, he has to wait another year. He spends his free time searching for slugs and NW Pacific Tree Frogs. Several of each have been visitors in our home and have done some swimming in our bathroom sink. He is very social and has enjoyed making friends at school and at church.

Joshua is in a part-time preschool at our church. He is having a great time learning his letters and making new friends. He is finally a big boy and out of diapers...HOORAY!!! He likes to go on critter hunts with Ryan and likes to climb wherever he can. He is making new friends, too. He is still very much Mama's boy and still likes to snuggle in the mornings. He loves airplanes and can name quite a few.

All three boys look forward to going to church on Sunday mornings. We have found a great church and joined Beaverton Christian Church a couple of weeks ago. The classes for the boys are great and there are so many activities for the whole family. The boys attend AWANA on Wednesday nights and are having a good time playing games, making friends and learning scriptures from God's word. All three have also adjusted quite nicely to Portland and love to be able to play outside. We spend quite a bit of time at the local park and the boys spend a lot of time outside.

On September 20th, my cousin Stephen married his long time sweetheart Katie. The wedding was absolutely beautiful. Katie and Steve smiled the whole time. They looked so happy and so in love. I flew out to Kansas City to meet my parents and together we drove to Des Moines. It was a fun weekend all the way around. I am sure that Katie and Steve will be happy.

Well, that is about it for now. I am tired...as usual...and the day starts early at our house. I'll try to do better about posting on a more regular basis.

A Cautionary Tale

2008-08-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

I struggled for a while to come up with a title for this post. Something happened recently that I have wanted to blog about for a while, but it took some time for me to sort out my thoughts and decide where I wanted to go with this post. This post concerns the death of a man we will call Gary. Gary passed away early this week.

Gary was the patriarch of a family of dear friends of both Heather and mine from back in the old hometown. They were quite a lovely family in better times: mother Mary Ann, twins Fred and Sharon, and daughter Laura. Sadly, this family was beset by a number of gut-wrenching tragedies over the years. Any one of these happenings would be incomprehensible for any close-knit family to swallow, but this family just seemed to have more than their fair share of troubles for reasons we will never understand in this life.

Nearly two decades ago, Sharon unexpectedly passed away as a teenager due to a severe asthma attack. She was such a sweet girl, and she would no doubt have grown up into a fine woman someday. It didn't seem fair that God could call home someone so wonderful who had barely begun living. Sharon's death deeply affected their whole family, as well as all of us who knew her.

Almost a decade later, Mary Ann herself would be killed in a car accident while driving to work one morning. This happened about a month or two after Heather and I got married. Her passing was so bittersweet -- we knew she would be reunited with Sharon in Heaven, but we missed her here on Earth, and we were so sad for the family she left behind.

These events serve as a reminder of life lesson #1: you just never know when your time here on Earth will end. We have no guarantees of a long life. Get right with God, and hug your family every day.

For the rest of this post, I want to talk more about Gary. Gary could be an incredibly difficult person to be around at times, even before all the tragedies. He was frequently gruff and abrasive. He was apparently a rather learned individual, having attended the University of Illinois (one of my alma maters!) at one point. I believe I even heard once that he had a law degree. However, whenever we were around Gary, we frequently got the impression that he felt he was smarter than all the rubes around him. I suspect he didn't really much care for taking orders, and I recall he got let go from at least one job. He tried starting at least one business, which ultimately failed. Many people found Gary to be very off-putting. We aren't sure what Gary did for much of the time he was unemployed, as he stayed home while Mary Ann went to work as a teacher. I know Mr. Mom situations are perfectly normal these days, but most Mr. Moms tend pitch in with the housework while their spouses are working. We never really saw that with Gary. I know he wrote letters to the editor of the local paper a lot, but I am not sure what else he did with his time. At any rate, teachers are woefully underpaid, and the family really could have used the additional financial help he could have provided by taking a job.

This brings me to life lesson #2: sometimes you have to suck up your pride and step up to provide for your family's needs. Believe me, I have been in situations like this before. It's not easy.

Now I will admit that there is a lot about Gary that I don't know, not being a member of their family. I hope I am not coming across as overly judgemental -- if so, I do apologize. It is easy for those of us on the outside of the situation to criticize. I think it is entirely likely that Gary suffered from some kind of clinical depression or other mental illness. I saw similar symptoms in my own grandfather, who was hospitalized at a state hospital in Texas on a number of occasions. Sadly, mental illness often carries a stigma in our society, and this stigma discourages many people from seeking adequate treatment. There is no shame in having a mental illness -- it is an illness, just like diabetes or high blood pressure. If you have a mental illness, and you have the capacity to recognize it and get help for it, then you owe it to yourself and your family to do so. I don't know if Gary ever sought out any help -- but if he didn't, he should have.

Toward the end of his life, Gary did not cope especially well with the many tragedies that had befallen him. We know he turned to alcohol to deal with his pain. People on occasion tried to reach out and help him, only to be rebuked by Gary in one of his drunken stupors. Gary had become a bitter and angry alcoholic. I cut the man a little slack on that one -- many of us would probably face the same temptations in dealing with the unimaginable amount of anguish he faced.

And this brings me to life lesson #3: we ultimately have choices. We can choose destructive ways of coping with our issues, or we can choose to reach out and get help.

Ultimately, Gary died a bitter and lonely death. He was estranged from his own surviving children, having disapproved of their choices of spouses. His obituary has yet to appear in the local paper, and I wonder if it ever will. When I first learned of Gary's death, I felt disgust. Disgust at the choices he made, and what he put his family through over the years. After reflecting on it a while, my feelings have changed more toward pity. He could have had such a better life for himself if only he had made different choices. While it would be easy to say that his life, in many ways, was a waste -- perhaps it is not so after all. His life can serve as an object lesson for all of us to make better choices, love our families unconditionally, and strive to do better.

Farewell, Gary. I hope you are in a better place now.

Thoughts on Texas and Oregon

2008-08-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a couple of months since we stepped off the plane here in Portland. Where does the time go? Sorry we haven't blogged more, but the last six months or so have been really challenging. I had to spend a lot of time undoing four years of wear and tear on our old house in Texas to get it ready to sell. Little boys are hard on houses, let me tell you. We (mostly me) repainted it top to bottom, had new carpet installed, and put new tile in the master bathroom. On top of working and taking the kids to school, scouts, and the like. Thankfully, it all got done, and the dust on our move is starting to settle at last.

Our reasons for the move are many and varied; I won't get into all of them here. I make no secret of my dislike for what Austin has become over the last several years or so. As recently as 15 years ago, it was a fun, laid back place to live. However, things have changed since then, and not necessarily for the better. I like to say it has become "Dallasificated." You know -- the traffic, the smog, the sprawl, and the massive rush to tear everything in sight down and build overpriced high-rise lofts in their place. The last one is what really chaps me the most. Many cultural aspects that made Austin unique over the years are rapidly disappearing thanks to crass redevelopment. I understand people need places to live; I just wish those places wouldn't come at the expense of Austin's cultural icons. If you want to live in Dallas, then move to Dallas. Don't turn Austin into another Dallas.

Sadly, I have come to the realization that Austin is what it is now, and I can't do much to change it. I can either accept it or leave. So along with a variety of other reasons, we made the decision to do the latter. All that said, there are many aspects of Austin I truly miss -- things like Texas Longhorns football, Trudy's Tex-Mex Cafe, Rudy's BBQ, and of course, the many friends we made there. We plan to come back and visit lots to get our fill of those things as often as we can.

I confess my views have probably changed some over the last several years, even to the extent that they are no longer compatible with the prevailing political climate in Texas anymore. I wouldn't say I am liberal so much as I am libertarian these days. The politicians running Texas seem to spend all their time pandering to either high-dollar corporate lobbyists or their pet ultraconservative social issues. Criminalizing private sexual behavior immediately comes to mind. I could care less if people use sex toys on each other in private -- of course in the context of a loving, committed relationship. I am much more concerned about funding road construction, fixing failing schools, lowering energy prices while developing alternative sources of energy, and ensuring affordable access to health care for everyone. You know, actually addressing the problems that impact Texans in their everyday lives. But those are all hard problems to solve, and it's much easier to go back to Waco or Dallas or Amarillo come election time and reassure all the voters there that you did your part to keep those evil, Satanic vibrators out of our great state.

Here's a question to all of you who believe we should legislate morality: what would stop a Muslim from assuming power and imposing Sharia on everyone? Would legislating morality be such a great idea then? I for one look to the church for God's teachings, and not the state. By virtue of the fact that God has imbued each of us with free will, we have choices. We can choose to follow God, or we can choose to live in sin. Having the state impose a particular version of morality on everyone seems to run contradictory to our God-given purpose.

But I digress.

Having lived in Oregon for a couple of months now, I absolutely love it here. Sure, the winters are drab. No place is perfect, and that is part of the deal if you live here. Needless to say, trips to the bookstore or library, skiing on Mt. Hood, and vacations to Hawaii, Mexico, Florida, and the Caribbean are popular then. (We figure a holiday visit back to Texas would be an ideal plan for us!) However, the summers here are fantastic, and the scenery is second to none.

Best of all, the people here are wonderful. Sure, there are a few knuckleheads here, just like anywhere else. Nearly everyone we met has been friendly and welcoming, though. It's a really laid back place. You don't really have to worry much about fitting in because everyone here is perhaps just a little bit different in some way. People here seem to be less concerned with putting up appearances, which I love. Best of all, I think half of Oregon moved here from Texas in the first place. We have run into so many people who are either from Texas, used to live in Texas, or have some other kind of Texas connection.

Yes, Oregon does have certain quirks. You can't pump your own gas here. We have a high state income tax here, but no sales tax. We have to pay deposits on soda cans and bottles. The state here owns all the liquor, although most stores are not state-owned anymore -- they are run by private contractors instead. There are no "wet" and "dry" areas as such here, though. I think these are all things that make Oregon unique and interesting, but perhaps they aren't everyone's cup of tea.

One of the big knocks on Oregon is the land use restrictions. In essence, cities cannot grow out beyond a limit known as an urban growth boundary. I am not up on all the particulars, and perhaps it is possible to extend the boundary if people want it to be done so. This has created an interesting situation in places like Portland, where people who bought large lots long ago have made money by subdividing their lots and having another house built on them. So lots here tend to be smaller, and home values tend to be higher. There are also many cases where nice, older homes have been either relocated (somewhere outside of Portland) or, more commonly, demolished in order to make room for a big mansion on the same lot, often negatively impacting the character of the neighborhood. I can understand those criticisms, but I do like how the regulations have made Portland into a more compact city. It feels like a much smaller city than it really is, thanks to its compact size. I also like how the regulations protect the farmland outside the city, too. I do understand the criticisms, although it is worth noting that Seattle has no such restrictions, and they have even higher housing prices than we do to go along with all their sprawl.

Overall, I like it here in Oregon, and I plan on staying a while.

Happy Summer from Oregon!

2008-07-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been more than 6 months since our last post. My how time flies when you are having fun. So many things have changed in the past few months and I can say we have been truly blessed in so many ways.

In the middle of April we decided it was time to get our act together and make our move to Portland, OR. Chris and I traveled to Portland the last weekend in April for our house-hunting adventure. We had 2 1/2 days to find a place to live and we weren't optimistic after our first day. On our second day we viewed a small house with great landlords and we decided to rent. We knew it was the house God had chosen for us when one of the owners called US and said she wanted to rent to us. What a relief - and we were able to enjoy some time sight seeing!

We scheduled the packers for May 8th and the movers for May 9th. We did not get completely finished with the house until May 14th. We learned that we HATE painting and will pay someone to do it for us next time. We also learned that we shouldn't procrastinate - but that probably won't change in the near future. We spent the nights without our furniture either in hotels or on the floor of our house so we could work after the boys went to sleep. The boys did well during this time even though the days (and nights) were chaotic.

Our worldly possessions were not due in Portland until May 22nd so we spent some time with my parents. It was good for the boys to have some time with their grandparents before making the move. It was good for all of us to eat something other than restaurant food, too. The boys played outside with bubbles, sidewalk chalk and the plastic pool Grandma brought while I read and Chris worked. It was a nice break in between the packing and unpacking.

We arrived in Portland on May 20th, ever so hopeful that our belongings would arrive early. They did not. We got our keys on May 21st and spent some time in the house getting the necessary utilities set up and letting the boys get to know their new abode. We also took them to the park which is just 3 houses away, although it was raining and it made for a short trip. Our stuff arrived on May 22nd - and we are still trying to fit everything from our 2600 sq ft house into our less than 1200 sq ft house. Maybe someday...

Everyone is adjusting well to our house and to Portland. The younger boys have to share a room and that took a little getting used to for them. We had several late nights when they wanted to play instead of sleep. All three enjoy our long driveway and huge yard, both of which are rare in Portland. We think we have found a church we all like and are starting to get involved. We are making friends, too. The boys are anxious to get involved with activities with other kids their age. Except for the last weekend in June, the weather has been absolutely wonderful but it has taken some getting used to. I mean, who wears sweatshirts and jeans to the 4th of July Fireworks?

Perhaps our biggest blessing of all was the sale of our house less than one month after putting it on the market. We got one full price offer less than 2 weeks after it went up for sale and it went through. We closed on June 26th. The housing market in central Texas is not very good right now, especially where our house was located, and we were worried we would be paying a rent and a mortgage for a while. Praise God that this did not happen.

I will try to do a better job of keeping up with our blog. We would love to hear from you all. We'd love to have you visit, too, but our house is so small you would have to sleep in the bathtub.

It's Been Awhile

2007-12-05T16:07:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know. Not much new going on to report around these parts. Been working, battling a nasty cold, and trying to get ready for the holidays.

While I am thinking about it, our thoughts and prayers go out to our future neighbors in Oregon and Washington state who have been affected by the recent flooding and storms in the region. Hope all of you will recover from this soon.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

2007-11-22T19:35:00.001-08:00

Poor Titans

2007-11-20T20:17:00.000-08:00

We were watching the Monday Night Football game on ESPN last night: Tennessee at Denver. In case you missed it, the Broncos defeated the Titans by a score of 34-20. Tennessee is one of my favorite NFL teams right now, due to the fact that the team consists of several former Texas Longhorns players -- including my all-time favorite, Vince Young.

Two main reasons the Titans lost this game:

The Titans can't play defense
The Titans can't catch

Go back and watch that game sometime -- the Titans receivers dropped a huge number of catches. Hey guys, they don't pay you to drop those things.

With that in mind, Hornfans has come up with a list of people who have better hands than the Titans receivers. Good times.

Enjoy.

Paint, paint, paint the house...

2007-11-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

...and the carpet, and the people and everything else in the way!!

We are moving. It just doesn't seem like it yet. Chris got a new job in June and we have been "trying to move" ever since. The new facility in Beaverton is not open yet. I don't think it will ever open, although Chris says Q1 of 2008. I keep telling him we are going to live in Texas forever and he will travel to Wichita every two weeks. Wichita is where his group is located. He says it won't be too much longer but I'm not so sure...yet. Maybe after the For Sale sign is planted in the yard.

God has given me some wonderful gifts but organization skills is not on the list. Neither is painting or packing, both of which are needed for a successful move. That, along with three children under the age of 7, is why our house is not on the market. We have been trying for several months with not much progress. I keep telling Chris it is because I don't think we are moving but it's really probably because I don't know what to do to get it done. We finally agreed to pack up all the excess, put it in our "other garage," paint one room at a time and bring in carpet people. It has helped to organize me but does nothing to help with the 3 children. We do a lot at night!!!

So, right now we are painting the family room. It is amazing that we have paint on the wall considering how much we have everywhere else...without help from the boys!!! All three of the boys' rooms are done, thanks in part to one of our fabulous friends. You will definitely be able to tell which room she did. We finally chose the right color and sheen that makes priming unnecessary in most spots. I'm glad we didn't discover that after we got finished. We are hoping to have our painting done by the end of the month. We'll keep you posted.

I'm sorry my post wasn't as funny as Chris's posts. I'll work on it. But I don know I'm better at posting than I am with painting.

Birthday Boy

2007-11-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

Just think. In another year, I'll be old enough to run for President. Not that I really want the job.

How about a fun little tune from the 80s to celebrate?

New Mac Commercials

2007-11-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

Apple has created some new Mac commercials, and they are laugh-out-loud funny. I can't tell you how many times Heather has wanted to pitch her laptop out the window due to Vista issues. What a worthless piece of junk. Like a lot of people, I actually reverted my PC back to XP a month or two ago, and I am much happier now. These ads are right on target. Mac OS X Leopard is the OS that Vista only wishes it could be.

"PR Lady" and "Podium" are my personal favorites. You'll need QuickTime installed on your computer to watch these.

Enjoy.

First Post!

2007-11-13T13:29:00.000-08:00

Greetings, and welcome to the Divided House, the official blog of NASCAR. (Well not really, but it sounds good, doesn't it?) I'm your host, ~~Kermit the Frog~~ Chris. My better half, Heather, will also be prominently featured here.

Now I know some of you are probably wondering how we came up with the name for our blog. Two of the major state universities in Texas, the University of Texas at Austin and Texas A&M University, share a rivalry that goes back a long time. However, it is not all that unusual in Texas for alumni of opposing schools to meet, fall in love, and get married. This occurrence is frequently commemorated in "house divided" memorabilia that features a Longhorn logo on one half, and an Aggie logo on the other half. Examples can be seen here and here. And yes, I'm aware that similar memorabilia exists for other rivalries, too.

So, in case you happen to be new at this, I root for the Longhorns, and Heather roots for the Aggies. Oh yeah, I hold a Master's degree from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, too. So naturally, the Fighting Illini are my other chosen team.

What can you expect to see here? Pretty much anything goes -- silly things, serious things, random things. Potential topics may include kids, computers, scrapbooking, college sports, travels, food, beverages, and more. Sometimes we may just run across weird random stuff and share it for your amusement. We're packing up the tent and moving cross-country to Oregon soon, so I am sure we'll have lots to say about that as well. We have kids with some special challenges, so we'll probably talk about that some, too.

At any rate, we are happy to do our part to entertain you during the ongoing writers strike. Hey, we figure anything is better than watching old Leno and Scrubs reruns. And our stuff is free, with no commercials!